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When Orgasm Takes Forever - An Article For Men on Delayed Ejaculation



When Orgasm Takes Forever - An Article For Men on Delayed Ejaculation
Ever been with a partner and had intercourse that just goes on and on? Maybe you eventually ejaculated, maybe you didn't, but you probably felt frustrated and your partner felt sore and confused. This is known as delayed ejaculation, and about 8% of men will experience it at least once a year.
Of course, once a year isn't much of a problem if you have a robust sex life. Most likely you were tired, not as in the mood as you thought, or had a little too much to eat or drink. But if it happens frequently, you need to consider other factors that may be affecting you, including:

Injury to the pelvic nerves that control orgasm. This can occur due to accident or to surgery, e.g. to the prostate. Also there could be neurological disease, such as damage to the spinal cord that could cause a problem.

Medications. Medicines, especially antidepressants, can cause problems. Sometimes problems can linger even after a man stops the medication; he may need to re-learn to have orgasm.

Alcohol and Illicit Drugs. Excessive alcohol use and some illicit drugs can cause nerve damage.

Masturbation patterns. If a man masturbates frequently, with a dry hand, goes very quickly, or looks at a lot (really a lot) of pornography, vaginal intercourse may be frustrating.

Psychological concerns. This is the most common reason men have a problem. They may worry about hurting the woman, about pregnancy, or feel guilty about sex. They may be afraid of getting too emotionally close to a partner and this is reflected in an inability to let go sexually. A recent study shows that men who have delayed ejaculation like to have a lot of control and are often not in touch with their feelings.

Sometimes, a man is just plain old trying too hard because he has performance anxiety. In that case, he may also focus so much on his partner that he loses track of his own pleasure.

What to do? The first place to start is with medical problems and medications. A trip to your regular doctor can help you determine if you also need a trip to the urologist or neurologist to help rule out any physical reasons you are having problems. Also, changes in medication or stopping certain medications altogether may be helpful. (Please do not stop any medication without have a discussion with your physician.)

Next is to look at your health habits. The way you do or don't take care of your body has an effect on your ability to have good sex. Be honest with yourself and see if you need to change some of your habits.

If you've ruled out other factors and still have a problem, seek the help of a sex therapist. A sex therapist can help you determine underlying psychological causes, teach you relaxation techniques, and give you a treatment plan with your partner that will help you learn or re-learn how to have orgasm with intercourse. This is a problem that rarely resolves by itself, so don't delay getting help if you need it.