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Delayed Ejaculation Ė The Causes and Cures



Delayed Ejaculation Ė The Causes and Cures
More thoughts on what causes delayed ejaculationÖ..

When you think about the role men play in sex, itís clear thereís a lot of pressure on us. Generally, weíre expected to lead, to seduce, to romance, to make the first move, and to be expert in bed so that a woman gains pleasure and reaches orgasm through our efforts. If she doesnít come, itís probably because we havenít given her enough foreplay. If we donít understand what she wants, itís our fault. And so on. This isnít a criticism of women, itís more a reflection of the fact that the values we have around sex put a lot of pressure on men, somewhat unfairly.

And for a man whoís driven by perfectionism or a desire to please his partner, the pressure that sex produces can cause a huge amount of resentment. And if a manís resentful during sex heís not thinking about being in the moment and enjoying himself Ė heís distanced from his partner in some way. That certainly seems to be one cause of delayed ejaculation: the pressure of having to please your partner, or at least feeling that you have to please your partner, and resenting that fact.

Itís also true that many men who experience some degree of delayed ejaculation, also known as Ēretarded ejaculationĒ, are experiencing some kind of relationship issues with their partner. There may be some hostility, or resentment, or anger, or even sexual guilt or shame, within the relationship between the partners. When a man canít ejaculate during intercourse, he might be symbolically withholding himself both psychologically and physically from his partner. His lack of ejaculation is a sign of his lack of intimate involvement with his partner.

And delayed ejaculation can also be caused by prescription drugs. Almost anything prescribed for anxiety or depression has the capacity to cause delayed ejaculation. So itís always worth looking for the obvious things before going to the psychological explanations: physical illness, recent operations, infections of the urinary tract, and so on. But if you canít pin the blame for your delayed ejaculation on any of these, then youíre probably going to need the treatment program which helped me.

Delayed ejaculation isnít just a problem for the man. The fact that heís experiencing some degree of difficulty with his ejaculation, or the fact he canít ejaculate at all, means that some sexual problem is affecting his ejaculatory response. But this also affects his partner, who may think sheís not attractive enough or sexy enough or good enough in bed, and thatís the cause of the manís retarded ejaculation. Thatís why communication is so important.

As delayed ejaculation impacts on both the man and his partner, it can cause even more friction in the relationship, which makes a couple even less likely to have successful sex Ė you can see how once the problem has started it may turn into a downward spiral of mutual recrimination and blame.

To get out of this spiral, check out the treatment program for delayed ejaculation which helped me.